The Clusterfuck Nation Chronicle

Commentary on the Flux of Events

The last few days I have found myself in one corporate clusterfuck after another, suggesting that we have entered the realm, described by historian Joseph Tainter, as the over-investment in complexity with diminishing returns that brings civilizations to their knees. Nothing works right in corporate internet America.

Somebody kindly gave me a Kodak digital camera as a gift, and I need another USB cable to connect the camera to my laptap on the road. I go to Kodak's website. Guess what the only item not listed in the "accessories" department of the page for this particular model (DX-3500)?? That's right, the cable. What's more, deeper exploration shows that it is nearly impossible to even find a phone number for the Kodak sales department on the website. I finally did, after about 67 mouse-clicks down a deep dark corner of the site. Do these people want to communicate with their customers?? I don't think so. Apparently they don't even want to sell parts.

Today, after loading my copy of MS Word onto a new laptop, Microsoft would not accept my registration by internet. Five times it failed. So, I go directly to their website in search of a telephone number. Forget it. They don't really want customers to use their products.

By the way, how many of you have been in telephone computer tree hell this week?? I know I have at least six times. Despite all the propaganda we hear on the airwaves about "communication," corporate America really doesn't want to talk to anyone (or get e-mail either -- neither Kodak or Microsoft offered any simple way to contact them by phone on their sites). Of note: NPR ran a story tonight about trying to contact Damiler-Chrysler in order to interview an executive for the show. The whole massive Daimler-Chrysler website grudged up only one phone number (in the back alleys of the site, of course), and when the NPR reporter called it, a recording said that everybody was "out to lunch." I am not making this up.

Now, despite the fact that I generally denigrate my culture as moronic, the fact is that there are plenty of clever people working for these companies. So the conclusion I must draw is that even very clever people cannot get a grip on the new technology of which they pretend to be masters. The telephone thing is even more mysterious, since these phone trees obviously drive customers ape-shit. Kunstler's secret theory is that any company that gets live human beings to answer their phones will succeed magnificently. Conversely, if companies like Microsoft, Eastman Kodak, and Daimler-Chrysler do not answer their phones, that is a sign that we are truly fucked.