September 2022 | Eyesore

Commentary on architectural blunders in monthly serial.

Behold, Valley, a brand-new metaphor in steel and masonry for the collapse of Western Civilization. Let the firm that designed it, MDRDV, speak for itself: “With its landscape of jagged stone terraces, bay-windows, and balconies, covered in dense planting designed by landscape architect Piet Oudolf, Valley brings much-needed greening to Amsterdam’s Zuidas business district.” Ah, just so! And , no, the center of the building was not taken out by M10 233mm howitzers. This is the same aesthetic in architecture as you might find in a pair of Judy Blue Eyes super-distressed blue jeans. Architecture is now nothing but sheer fashion, and what is more chic these days than apocalyptic ruin? The collective id of our exhausted culture, sick to death of itself, yearns for destruction. Yet even as the great groaning cargo of anomie sinks into the loam of Holland, people need a place to microwave their Kaasbroodje, ink startup deals, and sell Rolex watches. The Valley project is sure enough “green” as green can be — whatever that means — soon to be a badge-of-odium in northern Europe as the region succumbs to a winter without enough fossil fuels to keep the furnaces running. Well done, MDRDV!

Hat tip to Bryan Kaufman for the nomination