November 2022 | Eyesore

Commentary on architectural blunders in monthly serial.

Behold, a computer rendering of the proposed 100-story Waldorf Astoria Hotel and Ultra-luxury Residences, Miami, Florida, mere yards from the lapping waters of Biscayne Bay. They say it will be the tallest building in the USA south of Manhattan Island. The developer, Property Markets Group (PMG) must not believe in Climate Change and rising sea levels (I’m not sold on that myself, exactly). They do apparently believe in hurricanes, though — and let’s face it, Miami has seen quite a few of them — because the promo material is hyping the strength of the structure and its ability to withstand 150-to-200-knot winds. Ironically the building design uses the current popular trope of appearing to look like a barely balanced stack of milk crates — the hardcore modernists still want to induce as much anxiety in the public as possible.

Real estate is a goshdarn tricky business, of course, mainly because it often takes years between the time a project gets all its permits and financing lined up, and the time they actually build something, and in that time a lot can change. And that is exactly the quandary faced by the developers of skyscrapers and mega-structures today. Back in 2019, it might have seemed like a good idea. Now, maybe, not such a good idea — with the economy wobbling, interest rates creeping up, our politics in a shambles, and global firestorms igniting here and there. Then again, a lot of money around the world is seeking sanctuary, and that might, at least, get those ultra-luxury condos sold off. I kind of want the thing to get built, just to see what happens to it in the hurricane seasons to come.

Thanks to Ray Hammond for the nomination.