This cartoon house facade comes right
out of a major window and door manufacturer's catalog -- the kind
that the house builders use every day -- so you can see from the
supply end how clueless we are. Virtually every design choice in
the picture is a botch. The porch soffit is too low. The wndows
are poorly proportioned and placed. The trim is mingy. The
muntins are obviously snap-in. The "harlequin" brick is
intended to compensate for the poor proportioning of all the other
elements. Anyway, it looks ridiculous as cladding only for the flattened
bay window. The porch columns are too skinny, as are the balusters,
which are also too high (no doubt because the building codes assume
that everybody is a spastic and would fall off the porch unless
the rail was hip high). All the machined frippery on the door broadcasts
one message: cheap door. The landscaping -- cartoons of trees
-- is the perfect finishing touch. The chief byproducts of
houses like this are anxiety and depression.
Previous Month
Home